Wednesday, September 20, 2017

The Dreaded IRS Scam Call

This scam has been going on for years now, but I only just got my dose of it a little bit ago. I was in an irritable mood at the time, so this lightened it considerably. Yes, I have an odd sense of humor that way. If you know me, you already know this.

I didn't hang up, because I wanted to see where it went. Sadly, it wasn't a real live human on the other end of the call, which was sort of sad-making. It would have been fun to play before I dropped the anvil.

It was a robotic call featuring a "male" voice, threatening me with arrest and a lawsuit over supposed irregularities in my tax return. I noted that the script the robot was using was missing words and using incorrect words, so the scammers are likely not native English speakers.

First, let's deal with the bare facts.

The Infernal Revenue Service isn't going to call you or email you about supposed financial irregularities. They will contact you via snail mail. You now, snail mail. The kind the nice man or woman puts in your physical mailbox, wherever that may be. I know this from personal experience.

Don't worry, it turned out that everything was fine on my end. A previous employer was playing fast and loose with State money and mixing my name and tax information in that ball of shit. I called the IRS when I got that letter and they were very interested in what I had to tell them.

Their next letter said that they had recomputed my tax debt and determined that I owed "$".  It was a very satisfying letter, I must say!

Second, there is a whole bevy of things they do before Court, much less arrest, is even an issue. They don't want to spend any more money than they have to in order to resolve tax issues. Suing someone costs real money. They're like you in that regard. Why spend money when you don't have to?

A friend was recently targeted by these assholes, and I got angry. I decided that when the time came that I got one of these calls, I'd take steps.

Well, ladles and germs, I've put the number that called me today, and that I was instructed to call back by the robotic voice, in the hands of the proper authorities. 

I hope they enjoy the attention. I just wish I could watch the entertainment.

In conclusion, I recommend that if and when you get this call, instead of freaking out, make note of any phone number you are directed to call (the calling number is probably fake) and report it to the Internal Revenue Service as soon as possible.

We need to take these asshats down as quickly as possible, and they go through phone numbers like toddlers through cotton candy.

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